NOT AGING, JUST UPGRADING.

I am writing this on my bed, unmotivated and defeated because I always spend the week before my birthday in sober reflection dissecting the past year into bits, searching for the negative aspects and woe stories because I am a perpetual pessimist and in some ways a perfectionist. I am obsessed with order and the overwhelming need to take charge and firmly grip the reins of my life. I think about what isn’t working more than what has worked and this invariably takes a toll on my mental health. I am going to change the narrative for this year’s pre-birthday week and try not to let bad events be the highlight of the previous year.

Apparently, you can’t always get what you want. I had to learn that the hard way. I had to somehow create a safe space where I could live a little, forget the rigorous demands of being a Nigerian woman and literally just take a chill pill. I did this by finding out the things I found interesting. It took a whole lot of time. Thinking about it now, 2019 was the year of self discovery because before that, all I did was live in someone else’s shadow.

This past year has been quite an eye-opener; I discovered the tranquillity that comes with solitude. I like being alone a little too much now (how will I see husband?, haha) and at the same time I love anything that involves adventure. I  enjoy listening to music from boy-bands in Australia (Mansionair is my favourite), adding items to my cart on some online shop that I would never purchase, watching the latest crime/serial killer videos on YouTube or just watching “opening decades-old canned food” because I find the fermentation/decay processes of food fascinating (I can see you judging). I even watch organ transplant videos (I’m obsessed with doctors) and mermaid sightings in world. Okay, I’ll stop there. If you want to know what else I watch on YouTube, leave a comment, I’ll let you in on the good stuff!

I also started this blog (against all odds) and I hope you guys are enjoying it.

That being said, I would like to just add that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. What is that thing you have been putting off? Is it a business? Texting that person? Working out? Do it!!! Start okay? Life is actually too short. (This is me making a sordid attempt at giving motivation when I am Esther, the chief procrastinator). I will change, I hope you will too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Love & Light.

Leave a comment, say something nice.



Subscribe to Le Reina Via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Le Reina

My name is Esther, Queen Esther. I am a Nigerian psychologist navigating blindly through this tornado called life. The words best used to describe me are witty, pretty, chubby and bubbly. Welcome to my blog.

31 thoughts on “NOT AGING, JUST UPGRADING.

  • February 2, 2020 at 7:19 am
    Permalink

    A good read darling! Happy birthday my love!!!!!!! And yes, life’s wayyyyyyy tooooo short for not doing the things you love. I hope I stop procrastinating and doing things I love without caring about what people think

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 7:29 am
    Permalink

    Happy Birthday QueenEsther!!! This post was really breathtaking, keep it up dear!!!😘… Guess I have something to take home about doing things on time…Enjoy your day dear🎂

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 7:45 am
    Permalink

    Happy birthday 🤩🤩🤩🎁🎊🎊 may you continue to grow as you wish

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 9:09 am
    Permalink

    Happy birthday Esther!!!
    I Pray you always have reasons to Smile.

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 9:18 am
    Permalink

    Happy birthday Queen 🎉🥂

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 9:28 am
    Permalink

    Happy birthday girl🎉🎉I really love your post…keep up the good work

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 12:19 pm
    Permalink

    Happy Birthday Esther. I hope you have a good new year. I love youuuuuu

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 12:41 pm
    Permalink

    Ur write ups are like d most interesting thing ever… Happy birthday girl… Gaan have sense

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 3:45 pm
    Permalink

    Happy birthday my love! Wishing you the very best in life. You are much loved!❤️

    Reply
  • February 2, 2020 at 7:36 pm
    Permalink

    🎶Hey girl, hey girl, You’re amazing and you’ll do great🎶
    Happy birthday dear,it’s a refreshing year for you already. Amen!

    I love love love this post. It’s sincere and real. Keep it up Queen.🤗🤗🤗

    Reply
  • February 3, 2020 at 8:00 am
    Permalink

    Belated happy birthday, Angel. This was a good read.

    Reply
  • February 3, 2020 at 12:28 pm
    Permalink

    This is good. You go girl

    Reply
  • February 4, 2020 at 5:36 am
    Permalink

    Awwn! I am glad to know you. May the Lord help you and continue to guide your steps.

    Happy birthday to you Damsel 🎂

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.