NOT AGING, JUST UPGRADING.
I am writing this on my bed, unmotivated and defeated because I always spend the week before my birthday in sober reflection dissecting the past year into bits, searching for the negative aspects and woe stories because I am a perpetual pessimist and in some ways a perfectionist. I am obsessed with order and the overwhelming need to take charge and firmly grip the reins of my life. I think about what isn’t working more than what has worked and this invariably takes a toll on my mental health. I am going to change the narrative for this year’s pre-birthday week and try not to let bad events be the highlight of the previous year.
Apparently, you can’t always get what you want. I had to learn that the hard way. I had to somehow create a safe space where I could live a little, forget the rigorous demands of being a Nigerian woman and literally just take a chill pill. I did this by finding out the things I found interesting. It took a whole lot of time. Thinking about it now, 2019 was the year of self discovery because before that, all I did was live in someone else’s shadow.
This past year has been quite an eye-opener; I discovered the tranquillity that comes with solitude. I like being alone a little too much now (how will I see husband?, haha) and at the same time I love anything that involves adventure. I enjoy listening to music from boy-bands in Australia (Mansionair is my favourite), adding items to my cart on some online shop that I would never purchase, watching the latest crime/serial killer videos on YouTube or just watching “opening decades-old canned food” because I find the fermentation/decay processes of food fascinating (I can see you judging). I even watch organ transplant videos (I’m obsessed with doctors) and mermaid sightings in world. Okay, I’ll stop there. If you want to know what else I watch on YouTube, leave a comment, I’ll let you in on the good stuff!
I also started this blog (against all odds) and I hope you guys are enjoying it.
That being said, I would like to just add that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. What is that thing you have been putting off? Is it a business? Texting that person? Working out? Do it!!! Start okay? Life is actually too short. (This is me making a sordid attempt at giving motivation when I am Esther, the chief procrastinator). I will change, I hope you will too.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
Love & Light.
Leave a comment, say something nice.
A good read darling! Happy birthday my love!!!!!!! And yes, life’s wayyyyyyy tooooo short for not doing the things you love. I hope I stop procrastinating and doing things I love without caring about what people think
yes my dear Ayo. Thank you so much. we are going to do great things!!!
Happy Birthday QueenEsther!!! This post was really breathtaking, keep it up dear!!!😘… Guess I have something to take home about doing things on time…Enjoy your day dear🎂
Thank you so much Clementine (such a beautiful name).
Happy birthday 🤩🤩🤩🎁🎊🎊 may you continue to grow as you wish
Thank you so much Fola💓
Happy birthday Esther!!!
I Pray you always have reasons to Smile.
Thanks so much ❤️
Happy birthday Queen 🎉🥂
Thank you baby 💓💓💓
Happy birthday girl🎉🎉I really love your post…keep up the good work
Johnny my bro!!!!! Thanks 💓🤗
Happy Birthday Esther. I hope you have a good new year. I love youuuuuu
Thanks so much, I love you too💓
Ur write ups are like d most interesting thing ever… Happy birthday girl… Gaan have sense
Awww means a lot. Thanks baby girl 💓💓😘
Look at my girl 🥺❤️ Happy birthday Queen Esther 🥂❤️
Thank you my baby💓💓💓
Look at my girl 🥺❤️ Happy birthday Queen Esther
Happy birthday my love! Wishing you the very best in life. You are much loved!❤️
You guys my mum is the best!!! Thanks so much mummy💓
🎶Hey girl, hey girl, You’re amazing and you’ll do great🎶
Happy birthday dear,it’s a refreshing year for you already. Amen!
I love love love this post. It’s sincere and real. Keep it up Queen.🤗🤗🤗
Awwwww thanks so much baby ❤️💓 💓
Belated happy birthday, Angel. This was a good read.
Thanks my love 💓
This is good. You go girl
Thanks dear💓💓💓
Happy birthday girl
Thanks so much 💓💓💓💓
Awwn! I am glad to know you. May the Lord help you and continue to guide your steps.
Happy birthday to you Damsel 🎂
Same here baby, Amen!!! Thank you so much 💓💓💓