Sometimes a void,
Sometimes a black sea,
Sometimes you feel a flicker of happiness,
Sometimes you just want to crawl out of your own skin,
It’s always there, yes, the feeling of freefall, of drowning but never dying, of chewing but never swallowing or spitting out,
You share but you can feel the uncanny dismissal of the beings that swear they love you,
“Everything will be fine” seems as far as the Stone Age,
You wonder when you’ll be put out of your misery,
You pray but no one listens,
You are slipping,
Your heart is aching,
Your mind is failing,
And suddenly,
It’s there,
Overwhelming light,
The feeling of satisfaction that one day, either way, Depression or not, we die.

This is a little something I wrote back in the days of my sojourn in the wilderness of pitch black. It was probably the very first time I realised I had hypothetically received a writing talent from the God of talents due the feedback I got from the select few I showed the above piece.

I recently bagged a degree in Psychology (felt good to say that) and one thing I always hear from the simpletons I discussed my mental health with in the past was “oh how come? They should have taught you how to handle so-so in your course now”. Lol, as if it works that way.
The truth is nobody; I mean NOBODY (boyfriend, parents, pastor, peers) or NOTHING can make you “snap out” of depression. Oh and don’t think “I can handle stuff myself”. You actually need to get HELP! Psychiatric help, sometimes it’s just your body not producing enough serotonin; a little boost and bye-bye depression. Psychotherapy helps too; but this country is bad so good luck finding a therapist that isn’t judging or a therapist that doesn’t want to take you to the other room.

If you feel like you need to talk to someone, I’m here, let’s be best friends, I’m funny; the crazy, I-wish-I-met-you-a-long-time-ago funny. I’ll make you piss your pants (figuratively please, can’t spoil the slay, drip is eternal). Send an email to [email protected]

Love & Light.

Leave a comment, do you understand the opening piece?


Incase you’re wondering, the title “D” stand’s for depression.


I know I said I’ll be gone for two weeks but I’m back after one. Miss me? Check out my previous posts.



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Written by

Le Reina

My name is Esther, Queen Esther. I am a Nigerian psychologist navigating blindly through this tornado called life. The words best used to describe me are witty, pretty, chubby and bubbly. Welcome to my blog.