I am doing it again. It feels like I’m at the beach having the best time; laughing, basking in the sun, letting the sweet smell of the sea envelope me, building castles made of sand, and suddenly, a tide comes and washes away the sand castles and I start crying, weeping, wailing like I lost a gem and not a mere sand castle. That is stupid right? Me acting like sand castles last forever.

These past weeks have been extremely trying; from health problems to scares to downward mobility. To make matters even worse is the ongoing pandemic. You can literally taste the tang of fear and panic in the atmosphere. The whole thing is overwhelming but people find it odd that I am not scared of death. The only thing is if this is the end of the age; let it go quickly, no need for the prolonged suffering.

I am trying to feel hope, the light at the end of the tunnel, a miracle maybe (if miracles are real), a 360 from this continuous dance with plagues and destruction. Joy is a bit much to ask for but I need something; a flash of ecstasy, because it definitely looks like the chaos gods are working overtime. I have had a lot of time to think and weigh all the options i have in terms of salvaging what is left of my precious sanity during this ”quarantine” period and trust me there isn’t much to do. 

Technology has really helped because now you can literally connect with tons of people despite the whole social distancing bit. Reach out to your loved ones, make new online friends, learn a language (like i”m doing), play fun games, read books, sleep for long hours. Make the best out of this imposed (indefinite) vacation. I am here if you need a friend, send an email to [email protected]

Love & Light.

Leave a comment, how is self-isolation treating you?


BONUS POEM : an appeasement gift for my long absence.

You had black eyes,

but your eyes mirrored your soul.

Hercules’s spawn,

lean muscles and formidable strength,

A king by day and a beast by night,

A deceiver; sweet, dangerous, loving.

I wish you were dead,



snuffed out like a candle in the rain.

A devil, to never be seen again.




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Written by

Le Reina

My name is Esther, Queen Esther. I am a Nigerian psychologist navigating blindly through this tornado called life. The words best used to describe me are witty, pretty, chubby and bubbly. Welcome to my blog.