“My personality is this, my personality is that”, No sweetie, we can’t see that. All we can see from this side of the room is your chipped nails, Garri edges and mismatched accessories.

I used to literally be the most carefree dresser. I would wear Ill-fitting jeans and a really large T-shirt buttoned up to just show the camisole I was wearing under. I have really long brown hair but I didn’t take care of it. I would just pack it anyhow and put on a face cap and be feeling cool. Oh and I must wear slides with my toe nails looking like “tufiakwa” and I would still be feeling super dressed. The only thing that was differentiating me from looking like an SS2 boy was my Igbo body, ridden with curves; that no matter the layers of clothing could not be suppressed.

The funniest thing was that I would complain about the audacity street urchins had to walk up to me, let alone open their mouths and speak to me and even think it’s okay to reach for the stars (ask for my number). Ah ah Tunde, stop saying I’m a snob (I might be). I can only go up in the graph of my life. Entertaining street urchins is literally beneath me in comparison to how far I’ve gone in the dating ladder.

One day, as I stood in front of the mirror, giving myself one last look before stepping out in my hideous outfit, it dawned on me what the issue was; LACK OF CONFIDENCE AND BODY POSITIVITY. I hated showing my arms, chest, legs and all for the silliest of reasons. I am in no way preaching nudity. Nudity is not equal to body positivity, but at the same time you can’t be looking like a minibus when you’re really a Bentley.

Kill two birds with one stone; you look blazing hot for yourself and at the same time you attract the best. Here are some things to do:

1.Pick your style:
Are you conservative or provocative (keep it classy)? Are you a girly girl or leaning towards being a tom boy? Are you alte? Whatever it is Jane, you can pull it off. No style is greater than the other.

2.Express yourself:
Try hard to not be a boring dresser. Put some thought and soul into your outfits. Experiment (with caution of course), I didn’t tell you to do“avant-garde”. Accessorize, pay attention to details. Rings, necklaces, scarves and sunglasses could just be the extra boost your outfit needs. Even if you’re going to wear regular sweatpants and a tee;

*Let this be their reaction when they see you*

3.Read about colour palettes:
If you’re like me and pairing colours gives you a little bit of anxiety, don’t worry. Google colour palettes and simply learn colours that go well together. We don’t want you to look like something out of a horror movie. If you’re weary of doing ‘dy/dx’ every time you want to pick out an outfit, just wear neutrals (white,black,grey, brown etc.). 

4. Don’t smell like Fufu:

You put together the best outfit, he notices you from across the room and comes over and BOOM, you reek of fufu and onions. A round of applause for you because you succeeded in scattering everything. If you aren’t going to take the high road and smell like flowers and sunrise, the least you can do is use a good deodorant.

I have early memories of my mum constantly telling me to smile. I always walk around like I own the place (which is good, worship me abeg) or someone said I look like I’m ready to throw punches. I’m working on that because I actually don’t want to unconsciously scare someone away. My advice is even if you want to give the stern-I-am-Queen look, don’t forget to insert a smile from time to time (in the company of people of course, smiling from time to time alone on the road is creepy). A smile adds a sprinkle of sunlight to your outfit.


Now, go and flourish.

Love & light.

Leave a comment, what’s your style?


I’m so thankful for all the love I have been getting, feels surreal.

Don’t forget to share with your friends. Send an email to [email protected] let’s be besties. Eku quarantine.

If you’re new here, check out my previous posts.


*i added links to the meaning of words you might not understand, they’re highlighted*

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Written by

Le Reina

My name is Esther, Queen Esther. I am a Nigerian psychologist navigating blindly through this tornado called life. The words best used to describe me are witty, pretty, chubby and bubbly. Welcome to my blog.