Hey guys, Welcome back to my blog.
It’s so ironic that my last post was on motivation and I completely disappeared for exactly two months, fourteen days, six hours and two minutes. Did you miss me? No wait, don’t answer that. I bet you’re expecting a full blown explanation as to why I haven’t posted. Nothing juicy to hear here, just man-made (stupid) excuses. Let the past be the past, Okay? The main thing is I’m back now.
So how have you all been? Married yet? Driven insane by your parents yet? I and my sister recently shared a joke about how much money we would have made from washing the same amount (mountain) of dishes we do here in a restaurant. The lockdown is over and I’m still the same way I was at the beginning; still chubby, no extra certification, no boyfriend/girlfriend, still with major social anxiety but it’s all well and good. At the beginning, I remember swearing vehemently with my Igbo nose flaring that this is my chance to conquer the world. I’ve not even been able to conquer my tiny green room in Lagos and I curse everyone who is always selling the “dream-big-you-can-do-it” narrative (sis, it’s not that deep).
The title of this blogpost is inspired by a show called “Revenge Body” by Khloe Kardashian. It’s basically people losing weight and then presenting themselves to friends/family and in some cases partners or family members who jilted them because of their bodies. The whole show plays on the fact that human beings love “AHA” moments; an I-was-blind-and-now-I-can-see type of thing. You might say “Nahh, I don’t do that, it’s not my concern“and I’m saying you intentionally/unintentionally fish for comeback stories and it’s perfectly normal.
So what happens when it’s not a good one? Do you whisper obscenities? Do you say I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN like a roadside palm reader? (No offense), I know y’all wouldn’t (hopefully) because if you’re reading this you’re human and surely you have a problem you’re nursing too.
The girl you said is still “fat” could have other health problems that prevent her from losing weight, that boy you said is still “broke” has silent bills he’s taking care of but because he didn’t slap your face with thousands, he is a “broke thing “. (Just kidding, drop him).
I am tired, tired of trying to prove to myself (or others?) that I’m not stationary, that my life is not as stagnant as the drainage system in Lagos, does anyone else feel that way? Maybe it’s just sissy Corona and the way she has had this whole year on a tight leash. Like I said earlier, my personal comeback story isn’t great, it’s pathetic even, but for this blog it’s going to be magical, almost like when Liverpool won the premier league after thirty(30) years.
I’m going to do restaurant reviews and food tasting, museum tours, art gallery visits, my normal lifestyle articles, dating drama/shenanigans and with time some travel content! I promise to be consistent this time (don’t roll your eyes, I’m serious), they’ll be posts on the website every Friday by 4pm. You can SUBSCRIBE down below to get notifications via email!
Everybody loves a good comeback story and a good comeback story is what I’ll give you.
Love & Light.
Leave a comment, were there things you wanted to do during the lockdown that you didn’t?
Recommended song for the week:
Yes yes, it’s Korean, y’all are sleeping on K-pop.