Trial & Error: My First Real Post-lockdown Outing In Lagos, Nigeria.

Hey guys, WELCOME back to my blog.

 

First of all, if you live in Nigeria , you’ll need psychotherapy; if you live in Lagos, you’ll need advanced psychotherapy and daily deep tissue massages.

Growing up, I lived a sheltered life, I still live a sheltered life. I don’t have any children of my own and so I can’t criticize the techniques my parents decided to use in terms of child rearing. It was always supervised visits and “I’ll drive you wherever you want” and “let them come and visit you here“. Fast forward to adulthood, I don’t know anywhere, Google is tired of my stupid questions, thinking of going anywhere alone for me is like the same way you feel when you’re in secondary school solving further maths questions in a hot classroom after lunchtime where someone had had boiled eggs prior and there are still egg droplets in the air and you hate the smell of boiled eggs but you can’t leave because the class does not end until another hour and your further maths teacher is a cantankerous balding man going through mid-life crisis; so you’re just there stuck between enduring the foul stench of boiled eggs or facing your crazy teacher.

You’d think with the way my parents raised me and the mental gymnastics I do before going out that I’d have lots of cash to prevent some things but nahhhh, far from it. Irrespective of the fact that I’m not cruising around town, strapped in the front seat of an air-conditioned bolt ride, I’m going for it! I also want to experience the Lagos “street life”. So on Wednesday 30th September I decided to go out, in search of content for my blog.

I wore a black tee and jeans (duhh), put on some foundation and lipgloss and made the above GIF you see. My room was dark because it was about to rain.

My plan was to visit a popular Art gallery in Lekki, ideally it should be 25 – 30 minutes from where I live. I was with my childhood friend and bestie (haha, did you really think I’d go alone?), her name is Lami, She’s a YouTuber, check out her amazing stuff here.

We left my house and took a public bus but it was not the usual yellow and black bus called the “danfo“, Infact I haven’t seen the danfo in a long while.

*No social distancing, no face mask, just vibes*

Public buses in Lagos are coordinated by someone called a “conductor“, usually an adult male but that day it was a young lad with bloodshot eyes. He had a crooked smile that I found interesting and I could tell by his mannerisms that he was full of harmless mischief.

Some tips to remember when in a public bus in Lagos:

1. Don’t touch anybody and don’t let anybody touch you.

2. Don’t be ashamed to shout and lose all your manners when requesting for your change.

3. For my fellow Queens, don’t rest so much on the chair; they’ll be perverts trying to feel up your glutes from behind.

4. Don’t join in on any conversation.

5. Keep an eye on all your belongings.

I ended up spending over two hours on the road in traffic. It was terrible. I and my bestie decided it was in our best interest to turn back and go home since we were not close to the art gallery at all and the clouds had opened and the rain felt like bullets on the bus.

My battery was low, I was hungry, cranky, disappointed and ready to teleport to Aso Rock to remove Buhari’s cap and slap it on his smug face for the current state of the road network and transportation sector in Nigeria.

Yes, yes, I’ll try again next week but for now I’m on my bed thinking about how different my life would have been if I was born in Bergen, Norway.🇳🇴

 

Love & Light.

 

 

Leave a comment, say something nice.

 

 

Recommended Song For The Week:

*Parov Stelar is an Austrian Dj/Producer. If you’re into dance/electronic music, you’ll like it; this has a funky ting, enjoy!*

 

If you’re new here, Thank you for stopping by, check out my previous posts, click here. Send an email to [email protected], let’s be besties.

 

Ha en flott helg!

 


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Le Reina

My name is Esther, Queen Esther. I am a Nigerian psychologist navigating blindly through this tornado called life. The words best used to describe me are witty, pretty, chubby and bubbly. Welcome to my blog.

30 thoughts on “Trial & Error: My First Real Post-lockdown Outing In Lagos, Nigeria.

  • October 2, 2020 at 6:02 am
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    Mehn I enjoyed it till d end… Lol don’t be ashamed to shout n lose manners!!! Ain’t got no manners anymore in dis Lagos… Torr

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    • October 2, 2020 at 6:04 am
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      Like if you want to be doing prim and proper in this Lagos, stay in your house!😂😂😂 Thanks baby girl❤️

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      • October 3, 2020 at 7:47 am
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        All im going to say is that if you gotta go out in Lagos, especially on a Monday/wed /Friday, go 2 hours ahead of time Cos mad congestion. Anyways, It’s all part of the experience and I love that you made a good story out of it

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        • October 3, 2020 at 8:07 am
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          2 hours ahead, got it😂😂😂, Thanks!🥰

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  • October 2, 2020 at 8:11 am
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    “No social distancing, no face masks, just vibes.” killed me. I already knew I needed psychotherapy 😂. Your articles are always fun to read, I was laughing all through. Keep it up.

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    • October 2, 2020 at 8:14 am
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      Thank you! I’m glad you liked it!❤️

      Reply
  • October 2, 2020 at 9:45 am
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    What a lovely post…can’t wait for the next one

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    • October 2, 2020 at 9:46 am
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      Thank you very much!

      Reply
  • October 2, 2020 at 9:51 am
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    Top notch..keep it up🤗

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    • October 2, 2020 at 9:52 am
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      Thanks!❤️

      Reply
    • October 2, 2020 at 7:24 pm
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      Awwwwwn!!! Your blog is always very nice…I’m glad I’m back here…keep it up dear…💞💞

      Reply
      • October 2, 2020 at 7:24 pm
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        Thank you baby girl ❤️❤️❤️

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        • October 3, 2020 at 2:27 am
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          🤣😂🤣😂 don’t be ashamed to lose your mannerisms… True though, even here in Port Harcourt.
          I swear I’m totally scared of going out,lemme just stay home with my peace of mind intact
          This is my first time here, and I love every but if it.

          Reply
          • October 3, 2020 at 6:03 am
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            Welcome!! 💃🏼 yes o I feel the same way😂😂😂, peace of mind first

  • October 2, 2020 at 9:53 am
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    Will love to read the next post.

    Reply
    • October 2, 2020 at 10:00 am
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      Yayy💃🏼🥰

      Reply
  • October 2, 2020 at 3:38 pm
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    This is the second time I’m reading this today and I still can’t stop laughing..
    the further maths class took me to back to the old school days..
    I loved it! 🥳🥳🥳

    Reply
    • October 2, 2020 at 3:39 pm
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      Thank you very baby!❤️❤️❤️

      Reply
  • October 2, 2020 at 7:44 pm
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    What an amazing story, was smiling till the end of the article. I really enjoyed reading it, had to make some pictures of how your day ended in my head. Lagos Nawa

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    • October 2, 2020 at 7:45 pm
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      😂😂😂😂Lagos Nawa, thank you very much ❤️❤️❤️

      Reply
  • October 2, 2020 at 8:06 pm
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    I I loveeeee this article and I really missed you boo.
    Lol girllllll, the only time I got to go out after the lockdown is when I’m going to work and when I go to Church on Sundays, I literally live a sheltered life too 😭😭😭😭 , besides this Akobo road would discourage any thought of going out in you. Our roads are really terrible.

    Reply
    • October 2, 2020 at 8:47 pm
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      Yeah I heard about the akobo road, chai, we go dey alright 😂😂, Thanks for stopping by ❤️❤️❤️❤️😘

      Reply
  • October 3, 2020 at 2:46 pm
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    I’m always imagining my life in other countries; even countries like Mozambique. Navigating Lagos is only for the strong at heart.

    But, I’m also scared that when I toughen my heart, I won’t fit into anywhere else. I enjoyed this post. We’ll done!

    Reply
    • October 3, 2020 at 3:56 pm
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      Thank you for stopping by! ❤️❤️❤️

      Reply
  • October 5, 2020 at 8:56 am
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    Guyyyyyyy. This exact thing happened to me the day I went . That traffic is something else, I just removed my wig cuz I can’t die lmao. Imagine taking bolt , you’ll be sweating too inside AC cuz man didn’t plan for this expense

    Reply
    • October 5, 2020 at 8:58 am
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      Bolt ke 😂😂😂😂, that one is not possible o. This Lagos is just somehow😭
      Thanks for stopping by!❤️❤️❤️

      Reply
  • October 5, 2020 at 9:43 am
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    Lagos really isn’t for the weak. I haven’t been in Lagos for a minute but I’m already dreading the return experience. The traffic will humble you then by the time you get to your destination you look like you got in a fight on the way, sweaty , tired and without anymore initial motivation to continue. Good read, any lagosian can relate.

    Reply
    • October 5, 2020 at 10:10 am
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      Emphasis on sweaty😂, yes it really isn’t for the weak. Thank you for stopping by!❤️

      Reply
  • November 17, 2020 at 2:47 pm
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    Yasssssss, I’m back, Mehn it’s been a while I was on your blog and I missed it
    You definitely didn’t disappoint as always…..I’m also a sheltered child 🙈 you are always so relatable but this time I can’t relate to Lagos madness 😂

    Reply
    • November 22, 2020 at 2:49 pm
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      Awwww how am I just seeing this comment after 5 days! Thanks baby for you unending love and support ❤️❤️❤️I feel it where you’re not here 😅

      Reply

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