Trial & Error: My First Real Post-lockdown Outing In Lagos, Nigeria.

Hey guys, WELCOME back to my blog.

First of all, if you live in Nigeria , you’ll need psychotherapy; if you live in Lagos, you’ll need advanced psychotherapy and daily deep tissue massages.

Growing up, I lived a sheltered life, I still live a sheltered life. I don’t have any children of my own and so I can’t criticize the techniques my parents decided to use in terms of child rearing. It was always supervised visits and “I’ll drive you wherever you want” and “let them come and visit you here“. Fast forward to adulthood, I don’t know anywhere, Google is tired of my stupid questions, thinking of going anywhere alone for me is like the same way you feel when you’re in secondary school solving further maths questions in a hot classroom after lunchtime where someone had had boiled eggs prior and there are still egg droplets in the air and you hate the smell of boiled eggs but you can’t leave because the class does not end until another hour and your further maths teacher is a cantankerous balding man going through mid-life crisis; so you’re just there stuck between enduring the foul stench of boiled eggs or facing your crazy teacher.

You’d think with the way my parents raised me and the mental gymnastics I do before going out that I’d have lots of cash to prevent some things but nahhhh, far from it. Irrespective of the fact that I’m not cruising around town, strapped in the front seat of an air-conditioned bolt ride, I’m going for it! I also want to experience the Lagos “street life”. So on Wednesday 30th September I decided to go out, in search of content for my blog.

I wore a black tee and jeans (duhh), put on some foundation and lipgloss and made the above GIF you see. My room was dark because it was about to rain.

My plan was to visit a popular Art gallery in Lekki, ideally it should be 25 – 30 minutes from where I live. I was with my childhood friend and bestie (haha, did you really think I’d go alone?), her name is Lami, She’s a YouTuber, check out her amazing stuff here.

We left my house and took a public bus but it was not the usual yellow and black bus called the “danfo“, Infact I haven’t seen the danfo in a long while.

*No social distancing, no face mask, just vibes*

Public buses in Lagos are coordinated by someone called a “conductor“, usually an adult male but that day it was a young lad with bloodshot eyes. He had a crooked smile that I found interesting and I could tell by his mannerisms that he was full of harmless mischief.

Some tips to remember when in a public bus in Lagos:

1. Don’t touch anybody and don’t let anybody touch you.

2. Don’t be ashamed to shout and lose all your manners when requesting for your change.

3. For my fellow Queens, don’t rest so much on the chair; they’ll be perverts trying to feel up your glutes from behind.

4. Don’t join in on any conversation.

5. Keep an eye on all your belongings.

I ended up spending over two hours on the road in traffic. It was terrible. I and my bestie decided it was in our best interest to turn back and go home since we were not close to the art gallery at all and the clouds had opened and the rain felt like bullets on the bus.

My battery was low, I was hungry, cranky, disappointed and ready to teleport to Aso Rock to remove Buhari’s cap and slap it on his smug face for the current state of the road network and transportation sector in Nigeria.

Yes, yes, I’ll try again next week but for now I’m on my bed thinking about how different my life would have been if I was born in Bergen, Norway.🇳🇴

Love & Light.

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Recommended Song For The Week:

*Parov Stelar is an Austrian Dj/Producer. If you’re into dance/electronic music, you’ll like it; this has a funky ting, enjoy!*

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