Hey guys, WELCOME back to my blog.
There is nothing much to say as an introduction. My real name is Esther (boring I know) and I ran a successful blog from January 2020 – April 2021 and then I stopped. I am currently at my desk at work (yes I work now), sipping my fourth cup of coffee (it’s free), wearing a black dress and seeing flashes of Jason Momoa wearing only socks in my head. As the successful excuse giver that I am, I was thinking about the perfect title for a post that explains my long absence. I mean I had written and rewritten several and this current one was the only one that seemed to stick.
La La Land – ‘An expression used to describe the mental state of someone who is not aware of what is really happening’.
2020 was crazy, but you see 2021, 2021 was demonic. I was in La la land, detached from reality, a complete disinterest from the world around me and also having a great apathy for life and living. This went on for days which rolled into weeks and into months. I found solace in hearing the squishy sound which comes from unwrapping a large bar of Mars chocolate while watching sexy gym rats flex their muscles on YouTube. Imagine this; porky bespectacled Esther, wolfing down packs of chocolate like I had a gun to my head (eat or die!) watching grown thong-wearing men groan and make weird faces (flex their muscles). Anyway, special shoutout to Daniel Shoneye, call me.
The main reason I stopped writing was I felt like the whole sad-girl-depressed-queen vibe I had going on was becoming my aesthetic. For once, instead of wearing depression like a shiny prefect’s badge, I wanted to be truly happy, and in turn write happy things. I guess I was just chilling for that big break. The big break is not here but I’m not going to be the ungrateful narrow-minded brat I usually am and so I’m going to acknowledge the fact that life has been easier.
Another major reason I stopped writing here was because I wanted to fit in. Yes, as mundane as that sounds, It is the truth. Theodore Roosevelt wasn’t lying when he said comparison is the thief of joy. I have always had this baby girl/nerd conflict inside of me. I mean why should I be posting links to blog posts when I can be posting me shaking my ass on a yacht in Dubai in a thong. Well, I have come to realize that I can in fact do both. I will also stop listening to people’s opinion of what my life as a 24 year old female should be.
Deadlines are another thing that gave me anxiety. This new era for the blog will have zero deadlines but of course I will try to post as frequently as I can. I am trying to stay in the space between la la land and the deep end. Trust me when I say I have experience in being in both extremes. They are very peaceful but life was made to be lived. Feeling emotions are what makes us human. I might still be retaining some qualities from when I was a goldfish in my past life and so bear with me if I’m weird.
Out with the old! In with the new!
Love & Light.
Leave a comment, How was life been for you?
561 words with no picture breaks. When last did you read text this long?
Recommended song for the week:
Peggy Gou is a South Korean DJ and record producer based in Germany. This song is best enjoyed when you are very late for work and the outfits you have arranged to wear have failed you and now you’ve stepped out wearing your dad’s old rumpled shirt; the bike guy gave you torn 50 naira and you’re declining your boss’s incessant calls. Enjoy!
Recommended word for the week: